It’s hard to find the words for all that’s transpired

The Black Lives Matter movement demands change and an end to systematic racism.

Trying to sum up the last three weeks is a ridiculously overwhelming task.

Holy sh!+, these last few weeks have been a wild ride. I’m not even sure where to begin. It’s taken me this long to write because my life is getting busier again, the country is reopening, and while I’ve had so much I’ve wanted to put down I haven’t had the energy to wrap my head around it or find words to express it… Here goes…

America is not OK. For months the pandemic dominated our life and our headlines. Sadly, we’ve been leading the way in terms of confirmed cases and deaths (with 1,941,978 and 110,513 respectively as I write this). For several weeks we thought that was the worst thing we’d face as a country this year, a sad superlative that reflected just how broken our society was and how ill equipped we were to handle the virus.

But alas, that was just the beginning of the lights that would shine on our country’s shortcomings–we’re more deeply divided than ever. Our country’s distrust for authority and our political and social unrest is at a high I’ve never seen in my lifetime. This week, for the first time since the virus rocked us back in early March, we have been jolted by a much bigger, much deadlier force that has been a part of our country’s history for a much longer time: racism.

George Floyd’s death on Memorial Day while in police custody has rightfully sparked international outrage. Rallies and protests denouncing his death, which was ruled a homicide as the result of a white Minneapolis cop kneeling on his neck for nearly nine minutes, have taken place all across the world this week. There have been necessary and unwavering efforts to reform systemic racism and confront decades of police misconduct that have resulted in countless Black lives lost. The Black Lives Matter (BLM) movement is disrupting lives everywhere, and our only hope is that it actually amounts to real change.

I’ve done a lot of reflecting in the past week and have had uncomfortable conversations, in my business and personal life. I’ve tried to better educate myself on the BLM movement, the lives lost as a result of unnecessary police brutality, and the ongoing plight of our Black friends. I’ve tried to empathize with those who are forced to live in fear everyday doing the simplest of things. I donated to BLM causes.

As a white female who grew up in an upper middle class suburb with a lot of people that looked a lot like me and had what I had, I never wanted for anything. My race has never stood in the way of my goals–that’s white privilege.

I’ve been given countless opportunities in my life, and while I feel proud of my choices, I’ve also come to realize that being given those opportunities has been a factor of who I am and where I came from–that’s been a hard pill to swallow.

As the virus has rocked our lives for the last couple months I’ve been feeling really good about my choices. I chose to live in a beautiful place that lends itself wonderfully to social distancing. I have the ability to work from home and still make money without physically confronting anyone. I have a loving, kind, talented, reliable partner who shares my goals and actually appreciates spending extra time with me in quarantine. The man bought me a hot tub for my birthday recently, I mean how lucky am I? So so lucky, and fortunate, and blessed, that’s what this week has taught me.

I’ve been grateful for so many things over the years, and even more so these last couple months. But in reflecting on my gratitude I’ve never once thought about being grateful for my race–until this week. I am now realizing that many of my opportunities may have only existed for me because of the color of my skin.

I’ve had dozens of Black friends over the years, and have lived in two of America’s biggest and most diverse cities. I still miss the city for the energy and culture it provides, a direct result of the mix of black, white, brown and multicolored faces it brings together. I wish more people spent more time making friends in melting pots...

I spent months going to barbering school in downtown Atlanta as the only white person in my program and was fully embraced by my peers, it was to date one of the most rewarding experiences of my life. Had I been the only Black person would I’ve felt the same? I was reminded this week that it requires more time in school to be a barber than it does to be a cop… wild, right?

Here I live on an Island stereotyped by wealthy white people, chock full of Chads and Tads spending daddy’s money in the summer months and oozing with privilege. But it’s also a place that boasts a deep and proud African American history, a fact I wish more people associated with this place and a place I’m proud to live because of that.

While I don’t have any more answers than I did a week ago, I have found ways to try to understand and educate myself and take action. All I really know is that Black lives unequivocally matter and I’m pledging to show continued support of that wherever I can.

This week’s headlines: Protests Against Systemic Racism Continue; Other Protests Flare and Fade, this Movement Already Seems Different; Retail, Dining, and Many Other Businesses Can Begin to Reopen in Massachusetts today; New York City Begins Reopening After 3 Months of Outbreak and Hardship; Bill Murray’s Son Arrested at a BLM Protest on MV; ‘Cruise Ships on Land’: As Las Vegas Reopens, a Huge Test for Casinos; When 511 Epidemiologists Expect to Do Everyday Activities Again

Some feel good news: Schools Food Drive to Help those Affected by Looting in Minneapolis Shows the Power of Community; What if 2020 Isn’t Cancelled? Inspiring Poem with message of Change

Something that made me happy: My sister took Mason to first (peaceful) protest! He wore a mask almost the whole time and in recapping the day’s events on the phone with me he even said “protest”! Or something that sounded a lot like it. I’m very proud of my sister for taking action and introducing Mason to these issues early one.

Something that made me sad: This week’s list is far too long… This one just straight infuriated me: Protestors Dispersed with Tear Gas so Trump Could Pose at Church,

What I’m hopeful for: Continued action, continued conversations, a strong voter turnout in November and finally some real change.