Ten things that have been reaffirmed in quarantine

Thank you flowers, you’ve been a lifesaver.

Some things I’m learning, others I’ve always known but are becoming increasingly clear.

Over the last month, like most people, my world has gotten much smaller and more limited, and my time has become more fluid. I’m finding it hard to decipher between one day and the next. But during this bizarre chapter, I’ve actually had time to stop and think, something I rarely have the luxury of doing in my real life, as I’m typically running from job to job, commitment to commitment, trip to trip. I live a very full life, and I’ve always chosen that path, being busy is my natural state… until now. It’s been a hard stop but there’s something refreshing about this forced shift to my days that I’m appreciating. It’s allowed me to start this blog (and while this isn’t the blog I was planning to start I’m glad I did) and has allowed me the time and space to reflect on all I have in life and what I want for my future. 

Here’s ten things that have become increasingly clear in quarantine.

I am so grateful for my loving husband. Gavin and I have been together for 16 years. It’s still hard to believe we met when we were 19, just a couple of college kids who had no idea where life would take us. I am so glad I have him as my patient partner in life, and especially in all of this. At the onset of this crisis I had my first panic attack and he consoled me at a safe distance, and didn’t get offended when I slapped his touch away, but still needed the reassurance of knowing he was close by. Since then he’s cooked for me everyday, braved the supermarket so I could avoid it, woken up early to entertain the kids whenever they’re over, made me custom masks, hand ground my coffee and more ridiculously nice gestures that have made this easier on me. One of the things that has worried me the most in all of this is knowing that there are so many people struggling in their relationships and all the additional stress on so many families, in so many homes. Domestic violence is on the rise (typical in times of economic crisis) and now amplified by the fact that people are stuck at home longer with abusers. I’m grateful more than ever for my loving, supportive husband, and all of the extra quality time we’ve been able to share these last few months.

I’m affected by the weather, and seriously value outdoor time. I’ve been in Atlanta since March 9 and daily highs have fluctuated between 60 and 80 degrees. It has been lovely, despite the thick pollen of March. I’ve always preferred warmer weather and as a New Englander I especially appreciated the winters for the few years we were living here. These days the sun has been like therapy, providing me with strength, light, hope and a lovely golden glow (I’ll be returning home with tan lines, yippee!). I’ve tried to spend at least a couple hours each day outdoors, working out, exploring the neighborhood or playing with the kids. There’s no doubt it’s helped to curb my anxiety and reduce my stress. My fingers are crossed that once we make our way back to the Northeast the weather will warm up and I’ll be able to get some of the same benefits at home.

It is so important for me to exercise regularly. This is something I know, and have always known about myself, but how easily I can get distracted and “fall off the wagon.” When I’m home it’s pretty standard for me to work out regularly and eat relatively clean. Before arriving to Atlanta I had been out of my regular routine on the road trip. I was traveling, which means I was eating and drinking with no regard to staying healthy, and my exercise consisted of occasional day hikes and walks while sightseeing. As we’ve settled into a routine in Atlanta and I’ve made the time to exercise each day I’m reminded of how important it is for my emotional and physical well being. 

Mental health is real and self care is essential. I’ve never experienced anything scarier than that first panic attack. I’m typically a pretty rational person who generally has control over her emotions but I saw the dark side. I went to the most hopeless, helpless, frightening place, and it was all created by my own mind. While I’ve always appreciated how critical mental health and wellbeing are, now I can truly understand just how vulnerable we are to ourselves, and how overwhelming stress and fear can be on us as individuals and as a society. During this pandemic I’ve had more time to focus on self care–sleeping more, exercising regularly, being outdoors, taking nightly baths, cutting out alcohol– and I know all of it has laddered up to reduce my anxiety these last several weeks.

I miss having a dog, and I know I’m not alone. In light of the virus pet adoption has skyrocketed. As people are forced to stay home they have extra time to train a new pet and are craving the unconditional love they provide more than ever. Several of my friends and family have acquired new puppies in all of this, and shelters all over the country are empty for the first time in their history. I’ve found myself desperately missing life as a dog mom, despite having sworn one off until we move into a bigger house and do less travelling. But these several weeks have made me think that the benefits of dog ownership would far outweigh the burdens.

I’m grateful for my savings. I know a lot of people are struggling a lot right now, and the financial burden of this crisis is adding insult to injury. Luckily I paid off all of my debt last year and have finally started saving money for the first time since making a career change. I’m so grateful for the financial cushion I’ve given myself that I know many others do not have. Sure I’ve lost money so far like everyone else, and will continue to, especially given the grim outlook for our Vineyard summer. But I’m comfortable for now and I’m proud of how I’ve set myself up to prepare for a situation I could never have seen coming, especially on the heels of all that road trip spending. 

I’m lucky to have multiple jobs, at least one of which is digital. I’m a jack of all trades and while it can get annoying in my typical routine to feel like I’m always working, it’s been a silver lining right now. While my hair salon is closed I’m still able to work remotely, and though I’ve lost some of my marketing clients at Shored Up Digital, we’ve engaged new ones who are smartly using this time to invest in their online business. Not only am I grateful for the continued financial contributions but for the sense of purpose and normalcy my work provides, and my ability to support other small businesses right now.

Our government is so mismanaged and inept. Everyday it’s a new headline about how we’ve been failed by the federal government in during this disaster. From the delay in attention to the virus, lack of preparation, inconsistent execution of restrictions, uncoordinated efforts of test distribution, and so much more, there’s been documented chaos and miscommunication at every turn and a complete and utter lack of leadership. There’s been stories of local and state supplies being seized, tests not being processed correctly, all sorts of problems implementing the stimulus package, the list goes on... And then of course there’s the “briefings” by our narcissistic president which should be an opportunity to disseminate useful, life saving information, but instead are being used as a media blitz to wrongly tout his effective handling of this situation in a desperate bid to get reelected. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! All I can say is there better be some sort of accountability when this is over and people better do whatever they have to in order to vote come November.

I could really use a bigger house. Our home on Martha’s Vineyard is a tiny guesthouse. It’s cute, and affordable, and it has worked for us because I work and travel so much. Though it is not an ideal space to quarantine in, especially long term, as our lives will undoubtedly be tethered to home for the foreseeable future… But alas we’re at the mercy of the Martha’s Vineyard rental market, at least for now. So while we’ll likely  go home in the next couple of weeks I’m not overly excited to be forced into such a small space again. Our temporary home has been such a lifesaver and provided the physical and emotional space for Gavin and I to be productive separately, reducing the overall stress to our relationship in quarantine. I just hope we can try to recreate that at home, but I know it won’t be easy.

It’s OK to not be busy all the time. My New Year’s resolution this year was to reduce the clutter and friction in my life and only worry about the essential. This chapter of life has actually helped me toward that goal. I’ve been forced me out of my daily routine and I’m actually embracing a slower pace of life. Weirdly my overall anxiety has been reduced in all this. I’m assuming it’s because this situation has lessened the demands on my time, I’ve reduced the expectations of myself, and allowed for self care. As we’re able to begin slowly returning to normalcy, I’ll definitely be reevaluating and reprioritizing how I spend my time and reducing my responsibilities and commitment down to the essential. Despite the crisis at hand I’d say that’s a pretty big silver lining.

This week’s Headlines: Trump claims he has total authority over the states and when they will reopen, then says the decision is theirs, then defends demonstrators protesting restrictions and criticizes Democratic governors. He also decided to withhold funding to the WHO during a public health emergency, and demand to have his name printed on every stimulus check.
In non-president fail headlines: Preparing for a potential return to sports without fans, and will students go back to college? On a local level: Will we be stranded on or off Martha’s Vineyard forever if the Steamship Authority can’t operate past May 31 without a bailout?

Some feel good news: Mail carrier brings joy on her route with wild costumes, and some good news about good news!

Something that made me happy: BAGELS!!!!!!!! Gavin made bagels today and I literally can’t remember the last time I was happier. The cherry on top was that we actually had tomato, cucumber and dill to top them with. SO GOOD.

Something that made me sad: While we were out on a walk we saw a sign that said “Everything will be OK.” I was explaining it to Jack and he said, “well it’s not OK for all of the sick people and the people dying in the hospital.” Kid had a point,

What I’m watching: We had the kids over during the weekend so we were consuming a lot of their content, including Frozen themed yoga with Cosmic Kids Yoga, which I actually enjoyed. We also rewatched Cool Runnings, one of Gavin’s favorite childhood movies that he really enjoyed being able to share with Jack.