2020 I bid you adieu
This year was full of a lot of unexpected paths.
Oh what a year it’s been. The phrase “Happy New Year” has never held so much weight.
When I think of my life, I think of it in chapters. Usually my chapters are defined by where I’m living, where I’m working, with multiple years bundled into a single chapter. The Brooklyn chapter, the Atlanta chapter etc. 2020 on the other hand encompassed a lot of chapters all it’s own.
First there was the I’m-so-excited-to-go-travel-the-country-for-eight-weeks chapter. Back in January I was finishing up my days working at Benito’s (which I expected to return to) gathering travel tips from my clients, giddy with anticipation. Then there was the on-the-road chapter where we lived out of my Rav4, visited with dozens of friends and family, stopped at many a roadside attractions, consuming as much culture and sightseeing as we could. We travelled through 13 states completely uninhibited before COVID was even on our radar. Oh how I miss those days.
Then there was the Atlanta chapter of April and May when we hunkered down at Shadowridge, taking long walks, a lot of baths, addicted to the news, and happily distracted by Jack and Fiona. Next came the return home and the Martha’s Vineyard quarantine chapter of May when I hurriedly tried to clean and organize my house so I could “catch up” with everyone else that had been at home tasking, fearful I wouldn’t get enough quiet time at home to be productive before life turned back to normal. HA.
Summer was it’s own chapter, somehow it was a blur of Island busyness as usual, only masked. Next came the Katama quarantine chapter of November with us playing house with Kristina and her family, which allowed the worries of the world to fade, despite the interruptions of the election and the excruciating reminders of how divided and different we all were. I think those were the best days but also the most exhausting, thanks to a toddler, the media and the state of our systemically flawed country.
Then came the dark days of December. These last few weeks have been punctuated by walks in the woods, jogs in the neighborhood, masked, local holiday shopping and visiting with friends and family on Zoom. I’m finally almost “caught up” on all those house chores I’ve been trying to tackle since May. And the last couple of weeks have been exceptionally weird as what would normally be a whirlwind, action packed holiday in central MA popping from party to party has been replaced by endless days at home in loungewear with no obvious purpose.
Taking time off from work has been nice but I’ve realized that being home and not working is not one of my natural states. I am usually at home working, out of the house working, or out of the house playing and traveling. Home with nothing pressing to do is a weird place for me, but like everything else I’ve had in 2020 I’m grateful for it, and I’m trying to embrace the time and the space for some mental clarity.
As I look ahead to the next chapters I am hopeful. As of today we begin a two week quarantine so that we can safely go visit with friends in New York for the MLK Jr. holiday weekend in January. We’ll get tested before we go and quarantine again when we get home. It’s a beautiful thing to look forward to and I am beyond excited at the opportunity to freely hug and kiss some of my most favorite humans. In fact I recently submitted a quote to the MV Times for what I’m most looking forward to post-pandemic and hugs were top on my list, travel too.
I expect February to be filled with a lot of work and one of my favorite hobbies, trip planning. Fingers crossed we’ll brave the open road again come March and set out on another cross country adventure, this time in our snazzy new RV so we can avoid the new anxiety that accompanies hotels and public restrooms. We’ll plan to circle back to family down South, in California, and explore unchartered territory in the northwest. While the pandemic can alter our travels it can’t completely deny us the need to feed our wanderlust.
Ushering in 2021 tonight won’t bring about immediate change of course, but there’s promise that the year will eventually bring us some sense of normalcy. If 75 percent to 80 percent of Americans are vaccinated, then by the end of 2021, we can reach a degree of normality, said Dr. Fauci. In the meantime I’ll remain grateful for all I continue to have, most notably my health, my adaptability, a husband I am happy to coexist in captivity with, the privilege to stay home and stay paid, and the many beautiful memories I was able to make in an otherwise ugly year. Thanks for the perspective 2020.
My most emotionally charged moments of 2020: I’ve felt a lot of feels this year, and more moments of extreme emotions than any other year since maybe I was a teenager when every little thing seemed so big. Here are those times when it was almost too much to take, the good and bad.
The immense pride and happiness in celebrating the Chief’s Superbowl win in Miami, hugging my cousin Kyle when we realized they were going to win.
The anticipation and excitement of pulling out of my dad’s driveway in early February on what was supposed to be an eight week trip.
The exhilaration of discovering the natural hot spring in Taos after an epic off roading adventure and hike.
The awe and exhaustion I felt climbing up one of the large sand dunes at Great Sand Dunes National Park.
The complete loss of control I experienced during my first panic attack in late February when I begin to think about how drastic our lives were going to change as a result of the pandemic.
The fear and anxiety that set in that faithful Wednesday night in March when COVID became really real, when the NBA suspended the season “until further notice” and Tom Hanks announced that him and his wife were positive. I wasn’t sure if we should stay in Atlanta, seek refuge at Nora’s in New York, and it felt like the whole world had been turned upside down.
The feeling of doom that set in when I was getting my hair done in Atlanta, realizing it would likely be the last “normal” thing that I do, as I received word that the first COVID patient in the state had died.
The disappointment I faced officially cancelling the Shored Up Digital conference on Friday the 13th, another reminder of just how real it was all becoming.
That “oh shit” moment when I couldn’t find a place to get a cup of coffee in Atlanta, as everything began shuttering.
The terror and panic I felt huddled in the hallway at the Shadowridge house in Atlanta as a tornado warning passed through our area, interrupting a night of sleep that would’ve already been broken by nightmares and lack of sound sleep due to COVID. (Those early pandemic nightmares of mine were especially terrifying.)
The sadness we felt as we left Atlanta and had to say goodbye to the McFalls, coupled with the feeling of extreme gratitude for all of the time we had shared
The deep exhaustion that came from 19 hours of driving straight back from Georgia to Atlanta.
The nervousness and sadness that came with quitting my job at Benito’s, and the fear of the unknown regarding my future as a hairstylist.
The pride and sense of accomplishment and empowerment after starting Coast to Coast Cuts. Coupled with the deep appreciation for the business and trust from my clients.
The joy of the summer sun, my kayak, and those Lambert Cove Beach Days that recharged me and made me almost forget about a raging pandemic.
The mixed emotions I grappled with upon my sister’s road trip to Mass. I was nervous that something would happen to them on their way, elated upon their arrival but hurt that I couldn’t greet them the way I wanted to.
The extreme happiness of the unmasked hugs I was able to share with Kati, my parents, Kristina, and Mason.
The uncontrollable sense of disappointment in our country and estrangement from my fellow Americans in the wake of the election.
The sense of accomplishment from running my first 5K and being able to share it with Kristina.
The deep sadness that set in as I wrapped presents on my bedroom floor, realizing how different this year’s holiday would be and how resentful I was to COVID for denying me my first Christmas away from home.
The foreign feeling of boredom at home, not working, with nothing that I actually had to do.
The deep and constant sense of gratitude that continues to drive me each day.
Top headlines of 2020:
Australian wildfires that burned 47 million acres, displaced thousands and killed at least 34 people.
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle quit the royal family.
COVID, COVID, COVID. The WHO announced Jan. 9 that a deadly coronavirus had emerged in Wuhan. (It took until early March for it to fully disrupt our daily life)
Kobe Bryan and his daughter were killed in a helicopter crash.
Donald Trump was impeached on charges that he asked Ukraine to investigate former Vice President Joe Biden.
Stock market crashes as the coronavirus triggers a global recession with countries going into lockdown.
The police killings of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor sparked a wave of peaceful — and sometimes violent — Black Lives Matter demonstrations.
Biden becomes Democratic presidential nominee
Murder hornets aka Asian Giant Hornet arrive in the US.
Kamala Harris chosen as Democratic VP candidate.
West Coast wildfires burn millions of acres across California to Washington State.
The death of Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
Trump test positive for COVID after hosting the reckless rose garden event.
Joe Biden is finally announced as the President elect after days of uncertainty, recounts and baseless rumors of election fraud.
Two COVID vaccine begins rolling out, both developed in less than a year and considered one of the greatest scientific accomplishments in US history.