Seriously, where does the time go?

Home is the safest place to be.

Time is a bizarre mindfuck right now. Everyday is groundhog day, but there’s still stuff to do.

The days are shorter, the sun goes down earlier, and takes my motivation with it, I’m less productive in the evenings, slowly melting into the couch night after night. With winter upon us, temperatures are dropping, people are going inside and continuing to gather maskless. Restrictions are rolling backwards to previous “phases.” Indoor dining is no longer allowed in New York City, barbers and hairstylists can’t operate across the state of New York again. California’s latest order is dependent on the occupancy of their ICU by region, which is approaching 100% in a lot of places. Two states that at one point thought the worst was behind them are still very much inundated by the virus, possibly worse.

So here we are three months even deeper into COVID, the virus completely out of control. The U.S. is approaching 300,000 virus-related deaths to date and we’re now seeing 3,000 deaths a day. Sixteen million people have now been infected with the virus.

I think we’ve started to get numb to these numbers, but it helps to write them down, type them out, to pause and think that each and every number is not just a statistic, it represents a daughter, a son, a mother, a father, a life worth living, someone important to someone else.

But we know that for many people, until it hits home for them, until someone they know is among the numbers, or their daily life is significantly impacted by the virus, like anything, they’re not taking it seriously enough. So while there are many people suffering, their lives uprooted by all of this there are many people who want to brush it off, pretend like it doesn’t exist, or are fatigued by the inconvenience it has all caused.

I’ve come to determine that Americans are inherently selfish, they want to do what they want to do, when they want to do it. Our country was built on “freedom,” it’s in our DNA. Today our freedoms are significantly limited by the virus, and a bit of our power has been taken away, making some people feel weaker, and pissing many of them right off. They can’t see what their sacrifices are for because they haven’t been personally affected enough. Or they have and they’re just terrible people.

So despite the fact that a lot of people generally just suck, hope is upon us in the form of a vaccine, but that produces is it’s own challenges. Who will get access to it, who will be willing to take it? A significant majority of people will need to be vaccinated to create a decisive decline in infections and there’s a lot of skeptics out there. I’m not even sure how I feel about it yet.

The first 2.9 million vaccine doses ever are on their way across the country as I write this, the first injections intended for high-risk health care workers. The vaccine comes only 11 months after the development process began. But vaccines typically take years to develop, so of course there are many skeptics, and an overall distrust in government, made even more severe recently by the denial of the recent election results (which in itself is just such an embarrassment).

So the virus is bad, real bad, but I continue to remind myself how temporary and impermanent everything is. Change often seems insurmountable when you’re faced with it. Then gradually you begin living in the change, adapting to it’s new normalcy, accepting it as what has to be done. Thats what we’re all doing, all being forced to give up control of our own lives. Hopefully the vaccine will resume some kind of order, eventually, but I’m not expecting any real change in our daily lives soon.

So for now we remain careful, our lives small. I’m on hiatus for offering hair services, I’m investing more time and energy into Shored up Digital and work I can do from home. So it’s trips to the store from time to time and occasional work outings, but aside from that we’re hunkered down at home, catching up on house projects, anticipating a very Zoom-filled Christmas, trying to finish Dexter before it goes off Netflix at the end of the year. This will be the first time I haven’t been with my family for Christmas, and I’m sad about it, but I know the safest thing is to stay put, ride it out and look ahead to next year.

Having just come off of five weeks with family and having been able to spend Thanksgiving with them too I know how lucky I am. When I’m feeling down or frustrated I just take a look back through my photos and relive those precious moments.

As much as everyone can talk about how much 2020 sucked, and really it’s been terrible in so many ways, I have had some of the best times of my life this year.

I was reflecting on the year Gavin and I had, as I brainstormed Holiday card copy and despite the craziness we’ve had a lot of milestones. Gavin started a podcast which I am so proud of him for. I started a new business and am now completely self employed. We visit Miami for the Super Bowl with tens of thousands of other people, and enjoy festivities that won’t be enjoyed that way again for years to come. We embarked on a two-month road trip which turned into a three month road trip. We visited with 30+ friends and family before we couldn’t visit with anyone. We went to 5 National Parks. We got to spend eight weeks with our Atlanta family, plus five weeks with our Santa Barbara family. We continue to get to enjoy all the Martha’s Vineyard has to offer, the natural beauty, the sunsets, the hours spent at sea on our kayaks, the beach days this summer. The things that are still “normal” and unchanged.

So 2020 has been complicated, it’s been trying and uncertain. And I feel bad saying it but for us 2020 has also been really special. We were able to pack in some pretty epic adventures before the virus took hold, and we took advantage of many of the silver linings it’s presented us. Here’s to even more of the good stuff in 20201.

This week’s headlines: Four people were stabbed, and one person shot in pro-Tump protests about the “stolen” election, Supreme Court rejects Texas lawsuit that asked the court to throw out some 20 million votes in four key states that solidified Trump’s loss, Florida Agents Raid Home Of Rebekah Jones, Former State Data Scientist, The first Coronavirus vaccines in the US were given today, Electoral College meets as Trump rejects early White House vaccinations (I still can’t believe this is real life).

A fun COVID memory: One of our clients Jeremy Driesen enlisted our help for his new wedding website, only he was short on wedding photography. So in true just-get-it-done fashion we staged a fake wedding for the sake of photos and had a blast doing it. It was my first time in a real wedding dress and damn those things are heavy.

Something I’m proud of: Keeping up with my running! While Kristina was here we became running buddies and pushed each other outside of our comfort zones. I miss having her around, and don’t have the longevity I did when I was running beside her but I’m still keeping up with it. My time outside, totally devoted to myself is rewarding and empowering. It’s where I do my best thinking and it makes me feel most alive.

What I’m reading: Someone Else’s Secret by Julia Spiro, a page turner of a Martha’s Vineyard read that’s a great escape.

What I’m Watching: Dexter, Christmas movies, Big Sky.

What I’m admiring: All the great work Gavin put into our house while we were staying in Katama. Subway tile in the kitchen, a new kitchen table, a renovated bathroom. It makes all this time at home that much sweeter. I’m also admiring our skinny ass Charlie Brown Christmas tree and all of my decorations from the Thrift Store, why would anyone buy new ornaments?

Recent work accomplishments: Finally sending out our latest Shored Up Digital newsletter, a nice recap of what we’ve been up to.

What I’m looking forward to: Actually catching up on life. Enjoying these days where I’m not completely flustered and stressed out trying to do all of the things. My brain is starting to quiet and I’m liking it...

Our next “plan”: We have no plans, which is still a surreal state of being for someone who was so overcommitted in the before times… But I’m hoping we can give the RV a test ride in January and possibly explore western Mass.!